Grief

It hits differently during the holidays.

Even now, on the other side of losing my wife of 43 years—working on healing, thriving, and loving the life I’m trying to rebuild—the holidays can bring up unexpected feelings.

It’s not so much about missing my wife, although I really do miss her every day. It’s about missing the version of life I thought I’d be living. The traditions. The moments together. The traveling experiences we hoped to have. Watching our children grow and achieve…

And if you feel this too, I want you to know: it’s NORMAL.

You can be ultimately over it, at peace with your past, and fully into the life you’ve now created, and yet you still feel all of the stuff. Especially at this time of year (Christmas holidays).

Because what I want you to know is that… Grief isn’t linear. Healing isn’t a destination you just go to.

And no matter how far you’ve come, this time of year has a way of resurfacing old wounds.

What I’ve learned:

• Honor those feelings, but don’t get stuck in them.
• Hold space for grief and gratitude, and remarkably you can do this at the same time.
• Feel the loss while you still celebrate how far you’ve come.

If you are just beginning to navigate this stuff, I want you to know it won’t always be this heavy. There will come a time when, looking back at this time, you will feel proud of how you showed up for yourself. You will see how strong you are, even when you don’t feel like it.

Grieving the life you thought you’d have doesn’t mean you’re not moving forward.

• It doesn’t mean you’re not strong.
• It doesn’t mean you’ll feel like this forever.
• It means you’re human.

This holiday season, make space for it all—the moments where you feel the weight of what’s missing and when you remind yourself of the new life you are building.

If this feels like it syncs with you, just know you’re not alone. It’s OK to grieve. It’s OK to feel it. And it’s OK to hold onto hope for what’s next. What other people say is not that important.

The truth is, the holidays don’t have to be about just holding it all together. You can start prioritizing yourself. The best gift you can give yourself is the decision to focus on your healing, growth, and rediscovery.